


Out

by FairyNiamh



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Halloween, M/M, Misunderstandings, Monster of the Week, Not Beta Read, Other: See Story Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 04:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8431945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: Xander wonders how many times he has to come out of the closet for it to stick.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iulia_linnea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iulia_linnea/gifts).



> Written as a Treat for iulia_linnea who left me the prompt 'Spike/Xander: When "out" becomes "in and out."

"You can’t be gay," he heard his best friend say as he nearly tripped over his own feet.

"Excuse me?" Because what else was he supposed to say?

"You don’t like boys. I mean, just last year you asked Anya to marry you," Willow logic, usually anyone could follow it, this time Xander was last.

"Yes, I asked. Do you remember what happened?"

"Well, obviously not a wedding," Buffy chimed in.

"And why was there no wedding?" he asked his two best friends.

Willow furrowed her brow and shrugged, Buffy looked like she couldn’t care, and Giles looked like he was still trying to forget. 

Xander sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He briefly wondered if this was how The Watcher usually felt. "She caught me staring at the pizza man's ass. Then she hightailed it out of here with her old boss to get her old job back. She even promised to leave Sunny Dale alone, unless the asshole truly deserved it; and even then, she would ask Buffy for permission first."

"Yeah, I'm still not sure how I feel about giving her permission to wreck a man's life. I mean, sure some of them are assholes, but do they deserve to have a Vengeance Demon after them?" she said a tad uncomfortably.

"Woman leaves a man after catching him molesting their child? Any child?" he asked with a wicked smile on his face, he knew the answer after all.

"I would ask Anya to save a sliver of the man for me to pummel," she answered with an even tone.

"There you go, but the topic still stands; I'm gay."

"Very good, now then," Giles replied with a blasé tone.

"No, not good Giles, _I'm_ gay," Willow cried desperately.

All the watcher could do is sigh. "Willow, Xander's sexuality has nothing to do with your sexuality. If anything, it should bring you both closer together as friends."

"Copycat," the witch hissed before petulantly taking her seat.

Xander just shook his head and looked at Giles, gesturing for him to continue. Sure, it hurt that his best friend was.... jealous? Mad? At him for coming out as gay, but that was hardly his problem. No, he was sure his problem would come when thin, blond, and sexy showed up. Shit, only twenty minutes until sunset. He needed to split before Spike showed up, who knows how _he_ would take the news. Plus, Willow seemed to have it out for him, he wondered if she thought that there was only room for one homosexual in a group of friend.

"Right, even though I would prefer to wait for Spike to show up, however, I am afraid we do not have time to wait for him. In case it has escaped your notice, there has been an uptick in murders recently."

"Yeah, that's weird," Buffy yawned as she sat down. "I thought creepy crawlies tried to lay low in October. Did the new big bad not subscribe to Supernatural Monthly or Something?"

"I talked to Wesley..."

"How is the old Weasel?"

Giles rolled his eyes. Xander doubted the man could blame him. After all, neither of them were fans of the other Watcher. "Well enough, as I was saying, after many hours of talking and research, we both feel that the reason the current monster is attacking, is because of culture."

"What? You mean like cheese and stuff; is it lactose intolerant?" Buffy asked and Xander banged his head. He knew she was smarter than that, but she seemed to love playing dumb.

He watched as the ex-librarian tried to maintain his composure. "No, actually, no one knows about their food tolerance. Though we can safely assume that they have no qualms about eating humans,"

"Not the first time we have dealt with a man-eater," the blond shrugged away everyone's concerns.

"Yeah, Buffy can beat them up after I magically tie them up," Willow followed.

Giles looked to Xander, waiting for him to throw his two cents. "Don't look at me, I'm not agreeing to fighting something if I have no idea what it is, unless it corners me. Which I actively try to avoid."

"You have no idea how much it pains me to see you being the level headed one in the group. I am aware of your man-eater kill tactics. However, this is not a vampire and you have never faced a Nogitsune." The man could only smirk at the confused stares from his charges.

"What is a no-get-soon. Sounds weird."

"Don't you mean a Kitsune?" Willow asked.

"Kitsune rarely kill and consume human flesh. Though they are related."

"So is their heart in their stomach of something?"

"You can't kill it," a new voice supplied.

"I bet I can!" Buffy challenged.

Spike snorted in disgust. "Sure, you can kill its host. It will just jump ship and watch the human die, before selecting a new body."

"So, it's a corporeal ghost?" Xander guessed.

"No pet, more like a Demon, an _evil_ demon. Like I used to be and Angelus will always be."

"Eww, don’t call my friend pet, you psycho vampire; and Angel is not evil. I only slept with him the one time," Buffy yelled, ignoring the important part of what said vampire had told her.

"Yeah, and Angelus wasn't too awful. I mean, sure he threatened to kill us, and I was kind of scared, but I knew deep down he was still a good guy," Willow threw in.

"Sure, he was a real 'nice' guy," Xander said in a toneless voice. "I mean, he even offered to use lube before trying to rape me. It was Spike who saved me, just a little FYI."

"Hey, take that back, Angel is not gay," the blond slayer yelled.

Which of course lead to Spike snorting at her declaration, "Ya, I call him a poof because he is a straight-laced vampire. Never you mind that he's dating that Wesley bloke. Now there is sausage jockey who enjoys having a little Irish in him."

Giles bit his lip trying not to laugh, Willow and Buffy looked lost, and Xander just lost his shit and fell in the floor laughing.

"Thank you for that image Spike, but we do need to get back on topic."

"Yeah, wa's the topic?" he asked with a shrug.

"The monster causing havoc during the traditional time of... vacations, for the lack of a better word."

"You know what pulled me away from my wedding plans?"

'Indeed," he muttered pulling something from his satchel, choosing the higher ground and ignoring that he heard the vampire say the word wedding.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

Spike balled his hands up in a fist, getting ready to punch the Watcher. He was stopped by Xander gently putting his hand over the fist. "I think, what Spike is asking, is how do we kill it."

"No, I'm asking if he has the spell. We can't kill it, remember?" the vampire explained softly, flipping his hand over and lacing his fingers through his human's.

"Why are you two holding hands?" Buffy asked, diverting the meeting yet again.

"Haven't told them yet, Love?"

"Not yet, I'm having a hard time selling them the idea of me being gay. Can you imagine how they would react if I told them I was marrying a vampire?"

"What!?! You two hate each other. How... married?"

"Not our fault you ignored the wedding invite. Xander even asked Red over there to be his best woman. Where have you two bonkers been for the past two years?"

"I thought you were just pulling a prank. I mean, you're not gay and... oh, I'm a horrible best friend. I'm sorry, is it too late to accept for real this time?" Willow asked with a true look or remorse on her face.

"Can we talk about it _after_ we get rid of this No gut sunny?"

"Nogitsune," Spike corrected out of habit. "You got the spell?"

"Yes, but I am afraid it is Archaic Latin."

"Right, I can do that one. Xan-pet, why don’t you go and look over the wedding plans. See if you can get the Slayer to lay down her arms for the occasion. I've got Lorne as a bouncer."

"Giles would be a better bouncer than Lorne. You know he's only coming to troll for his next lover."

Spike winced then nodded. "Right, go over the list and find a good bouncer that isn't the slayer. I'll be home in a few hours. You gonna be there to help me get clean?"

"Of course. Be careful. Love you," Xander whispered softly in his ear as he hugged his fiancée.

The vampire just smiled, gave his human a quick kiss, then grabbed the spell and left. Xander looked around the room at the looks of shock that his friends were sporting. "Well, I'm off. Willow, you can come over in a few days. Spike always gets feisty after he has gone hunting. Hopefully, I'll be able to sit this time."

He silently laughed as he left. Really, he had thought the wedding invitations was a good way of coming out of the closet. Sadly, his friends just stuffed him back in the closet. He hoped that he could stay out of the closet this time. He had hated hiding that aspect of himself... well, except the parts where Spike seemed to like to accost him in dark corners and pull him into a janitor's closet to fuck him silly.

Yeah, Xander liked it when his smaller partner showed off his strength and held him up against the wall or door as he fucked him stupid. Shit, he needed to get home double time. Who knows, perhaps Spike would come home covered in sweat instead of blood and guts,

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Scooby Gang are NOT very good friends, Jealousy, Marriage, Buffy is _not_ all that smart, Willow is a bit of a selfish bitch, Giles - Poor Giles, They are still in High School, This is not canon compliant in any way shape or form.


End file.
